Double Nn With the passing of Kevin Samuels, this as an opportunity to disect what his message was to the black community. Many people are calling him a mysogunist and emphasizing how cruel he was to black women. His critics also make the claim that he built his entire platform from insulting black women.
On the other hand, Samuels’ crafted a strong group of supporters who believe he is exactly what the black community needed and hail him for his bravery in finally telling black women what many black men have been wanting to tell them for years. Some of his followers view him as a blessing from God himself for his efforts to save black women from self-destructing.
Even though I do not agree with everything that Kevin Samuels has said, I do believe he had points that could definitely be used by the black community, specifically black woman. Kevin Samuels brought out many hard truths. Some pills were harder to swallow than others.
He told black women to have more realistic standards, and that most of them do not have the qualities of a wife. He also emphasized the importance of having a two-parent household and how destructive being raised by a single black mother is to black children. He especially emphasized its effects on black girls since the majority of the people he spoke to in recent years were black woman. Lastly, Samuels illustrated how disastrous the independent woman mindset is to the black woman and the black community as a whole.
1. Black Women Need To Have Realistic Standards
Kevin Samuels forced black women to stand in front of a mirror. This mirror not only illustrated the true physical features of the women he spoke with, but also where they were emotionally and mentally. When coming from a world where black women are often told by other black women and sometimes men that they look fine and that their extra weight is okay, statements such as “You’re average at best” were shocking. It rocked many black women’s world for a black man to be bold enough to tell them that they were anything other than a goddess or queen. However, many women were stuck on the words and not the purpose and meaning behind it.
Ultimately, Kevin Samuels was not trying to put black women down in an insulting manner, but to bring her back down to reality. He stripped black women of their egotistical pride and overconfidence. He emphasized the fact that a woman simply being born a woman does not make her eligible for the top crop of men. There are specific qualities that high value men are looking for. In addition, since so many black women are looking for the top men, numerous black women are missing out on plenty of opportunites to get married. They have blinders to the men who are in their league and have their eyes set on men they are not even come close to being in the running for.
2. Most Black Women Do Not Have the Qualities To Be A Wife
Futhermore, Samuel’s pointed out how many black women do not have the attributes of a wife. They do not have, know, or do the basic necessities to keep a man. Many black women have no control over their tongue. They are loud mouth, sassy, and refuse to back down under the authority of a man. They also do not know how to cook, clean, or do the bare bones to keep a house running smoothly.
Above all, most black women do not have any desire to have children, and if they do, they want to put their careers first and consider children after. They would rather rise in their career ladder and push off having children until their 30s, without realizing their biological clocks are ticking. Some will go as far as to say they would freeze their eggs so that they can have children in their later years rather than “settling down” in their youth and avoiding hundreds of dollars in fertility treatments. What a man desires in a woman is not what many black women bring to the table. Black women bring their money and careers to the table when most men would rather be the bread winners of the family while their wives ensure their children are being raised properly.
In consequence, many black women believe what they can buy or the depth of their pockets determines where their value lies. They do not put value on giving a man in a sense of peace or relaxation from a hard day at work. Some black women believe that is beneath them and far too outdated. Instead, they put their focus on getting the bag and not on being a wife. As a result, many black women have a master’s degree in being a pillar of stress.
In the end, Samuel’s highlighted that many men, whether they are at the top or average Joe’s, do not want to be with a woman that causes them to strain mentally, physically, and emotionally. They want a woman that they can be assured will greet them with a smile, have dinner ready, keep the house clean, make sure their kids are well kept, and help lift the weight of the day off their shoulders. However, instead of being taught the essentials of how to be a wife, many black women are taught how to be independent and to live without a man.
3. The Independent Woman Mindset is Self Destructive
Samuels stressed the reality that many black women today were not taught how to be a wife. Most Black mothers do not take the time to teach their daughters how to be a good partner in marriage even if they were wives themselves. Instead, black mothers teach their daughters to go out and get a college education to make money for themselves. This is exceedingly contrary to teaching their daughters how to fulfill their God given role and apply their higher education through helping their husband and instructing their children.
Sadly, even black fathers are joining black mothers in promoting this toxic independence in their daughters. This is more than likely because they were raised by independent black women themselves. This mindset is purely fuel to destroy a household. Two people cannot be a leader, and two people cannot be the primary provider. As in nature, there cannot be two alphas in the same vicinity. Inevitably, the two will have to fight to decide who is dominant.
Consequently, two independently minded people cannot live together in one home. It is natural for a man to be independent of a woman. He is not bound to her as the woman is bound to him. Therefore, a woman attempting to exert rulership over a man and make her own decisions separate from his ultimate authority is completely contrary to the set up the Lord instilled in the beginning.
As a result of trying to fulfill a role they were never created for, black women often cannot maintain a long term relationship with a man. Subsequently, they believe that there are no good men because they are trying to find a man who will submit to their control. If they do miraculously find a man who is willing to submit to their command, the relationship is often unstable and dissatisfying. Soon enough, the black woman eventually ends that relationship because of a lack of happiness and having an underlying suspension that their man was not only a beta male but also gay.
Ultimately, there cannot be two heads or husbands in a house because someone needs to perform the role of a wife. Each entity provides a unique function that is necessary for a family to perform well. This is why two parents are important to the well-being of a house.
4. The Black Community Needs Two Parent Households
Lastly, Samuel’s pointed out how destructive single motherhood is to the development and growth of black children. The strain of a black mother taking on the main provider role puts stress on the entire family. He pointed out how children raised by single mothers are less likely to get higher grades, graduate from college, and to get married themselves. In addition, carrying the load of an entire family weighs down on the mental and emotional health of black women, thus resulting in less sound decisions. Many black women feel they have to embody two functions, being the mother and father, simultaneously at the same time. As a result, some black women believe they deserve father’s day cards. However, women were never meant to raise a family alone.
Today’s society rarely points out how important fathers are to the well-being of a family. Fathers provide stability, whether it is financial or emotional. A woman’s brain is wired with more of an emphasis on emotions than logic. In consequence, by design provide, men provide order to the household. According to the Bible, the husband is over the wife, and a wife is over the children. When the mother is the head, the house goes into disarray. Unfortunately, Black mothers teach their daughters to fulfill a position they were not made for.
On the other hand, two parent households are more balanced because where one parent may be weaker in, the other parent may be stronger in. For example, the father may make more money, but have longer hours, so it is up to the mother to take care of the children. In another instance, a mothers may be lax in discipline and let the children get away with more, but the father may be stricter and nip it in the bud.
In addition, how do you expect children to grow up knowing how have a healthy marriage when they never grew up in one. How do you expect a daughter to grow up understanding what to look for in a husband when she never witnessed her mother with a man long term? How does a son grow up knowing how to be a father and a husband if his own father was never present in his life. All of this influences the cycle of children growing up to be adults in dysfunctional relationships. Moreover when adult children of single mothers decide they want to raise their children differently, they have to pick up the pieces to a puzzle that their parents left no hints to solve.
In the end Kevin Samuels emphasize the necessity of two-parent household because it allows black children to have a better opportunity to live healthier and more balanced lives. It also allows children to have a greater chance of having functional relationships in their future. In addition, it eases the strain on black women from having to single handedly carry and entire household on their back, a role they were never made to do.
Kevin Samuels’ Heart Was In The Right Place
Ultimately, whether you fully agree with Kevin Samuels or not, he made a fervent effort to point out issues plaguing the black community and the need for immediate change to be made. Though he did not often come with soft words but instead harsh truths, he expressed his love for the community by taking a stand and bringing out various issues to the forefront that others were afraid to express because of possible backlash. As a result, his impact will continue to be felt and remembered for years to come.
